Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

thumb_up thumb_down +1

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops