What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops