Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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kennah campion... being nice

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What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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kkkk

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops