What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops