Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

I asked her where you were.

A boy asks a wolf, "whats the time mr wolf?" The wolf does not answer. Wolves possess neither watches, nor the neurone in their brain required to talk.

a black man pays his child support

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...