What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

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whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Not being retarded.

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Whats the differnce between love and herpies Herpies last forever

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

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Ha! You're so gay that I respect the sexuality you were born with and I feel completely comfortable with, and happy for, you and your preferences.

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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