Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops