Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

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Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He stepped on a piece of a shattered bottle from a bar fight. Don't worry, though, it was just a little cut and he felt fine after a few beers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops