I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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