When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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