Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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Go away still nothing to see

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god sent down his only son, " his only son." so in gods eyes we are a bunch of girls.

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

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What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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