knock knock come in ok!!!!! ur an elephant oh ya i guess im not suppose to talk!

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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25

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have 5 Fingers The Middle One's For You!! :D

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

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what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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I had an amnesia joke But it was written down on a slip of paper because someone else wrote it down. Let me just take it out & read it to you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

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Have you seen Jennifer Aniston's newborn baby? Neither has she.

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24

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I bont really understand dyslectic peapole

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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I EAT YOUR SOUL. NOM NOM.

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50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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