Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

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why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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being sober in a bar fight

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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