one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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A Jew and a German meet by chance in a bar. They exchange pleasantries and order drinks. At the end of the evening they leave, having made a friend.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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