hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Why was the dog sweating? It was locked in a car on a hot day.

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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HEY!

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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Jesus saves, passes to Moses who shoots and scores!!!

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Q) Why did the Koala fall out of the tree A) Because it was dead!

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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