So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's dog? Neither has anyone else, because it ran away yesterday, and was most likely hit by a car.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

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Chuck Norris.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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