Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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