- Anti Joke

What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

jess always squints her eyes when making a point

Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

sfdg

Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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