Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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Women.

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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