Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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