a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +32

women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down +32

An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

thumb_up thumb_down +26

yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops