Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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Whats worse than a joke? This

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

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A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

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Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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