Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

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wormly wormly sat on the worm theworm said wormly and went to warmly

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops