Q:what is the most annoying word that means nothing? A:every word has a meaning your question is invalid. ~Phish <3

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Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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A muslim walks into an airport. He then buys his ticket, boards his plane, and his flown to his proper destination.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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