Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

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Fat? Jesse Z

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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kennah campion when she talks

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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