I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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