How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Tall asians

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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