A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops