Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

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roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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