A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because he would scare the shit out of everyone, and come to think of it wasn't even sure he had been invited.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's white and horny? a unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +13

hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops