You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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Who did sally vote for in 1920 Nobody woman couldnt vote until 1928

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Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

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guess what? WHAT? Idk.

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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civil rights

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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