Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why bouriquet fall off the swing? Ask him.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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I just got robbed by an invisible man!!!!

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Boner

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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