What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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