What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

Roses are red Roses are also white and Violets are Violet not blue. Also I'm a realist and your grandmother is going to die soon

What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

An anti-joke

knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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