Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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guess what>? your mum lol

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Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops