What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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good looking women

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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