How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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