Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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ugvvvvvv

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

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What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Whats worse than sourcraut? Casey Anthony.

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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