A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Pickles

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Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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Yo Momma is not fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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