Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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p

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Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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Why did they bury the indian at the top of the hill? Because he was dead.

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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