A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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A blind man walks into a bar. But he wasn't hurt badly and continued on his way.

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I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

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you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

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An African American and an hispanic man are in a car, who's driving? No one, they are having sex

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Miley Cyrus Walked into a fence and fainted.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Once upon a time there was a magical duck in a magical kingdom. Nothing interesting ever happened to it and it was eaten by a magical fox.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

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Why is it hard to see a black man in the night? Because its dark out, and he's BLACK.

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five gay guys stand in a line is it a straight line

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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

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Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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