Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS JOKE??? A: Another joke you didn't think was funny... REFRIGERATOR!! O.k. Now it's funny!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's big and purple? Barney

thumb_up thumb_down -20

name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

thumb_up thumb_down -20

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats up with that? i'm from jersy

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops