How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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^ That's not even funny ^

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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What's the difference between a person who can differentiate an anti-joke from a joke and one who cannot? Other than being able to tell the difference between the two types of humour, it is impossible to tell, as no further information is given.

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

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what the deference between a priest and acne well the acne doesn't come on the kids face tell hes thirteen

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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