A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice

They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

Why did Visellet stop eating cherries? Because she choked on a pit and died.

knock knock who's there? your destiny

Want to hear a joke? Obama

What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

What's worse than Monkey Ball? Super Monkey Ball. What's worse than Super Monkey Ball? The Holocaust.

What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...