Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Maybe You'll Find Someone Else To Help You... Maybe Black Mesa... That Was A Joke...Haha...Fat Chance...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

thumb_up thumb_down +2

http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops