Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a man makes a bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- *slam*

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops