What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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why did the girl fall off the swing ? because she had no arms.

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

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Listen Erron, what`s wrong? I would have told you to go fuck yourself if it where not for the fact that AzureDragon just left for the cafeteria and is nowhere to be seen.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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