Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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NEVER

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops