A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

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a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

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Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

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What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

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Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

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I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

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Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

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What is a mexican's favorite sport? Soccer, it is the national sport of mexico

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If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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