Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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Jebron Lames.

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

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kkkk

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive? ......because women cant drive(:

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There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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