What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to get to the other side.

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Yes

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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woman's rights

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops