Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

Guess what? I like trains.

Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

my egg roll

I had 99 problems Solved them all

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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